I don't feel hungry after taking meal

A patient: Doctor, I don't feel hungry after taking meal.
Doctor: Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit. 
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another
one before you get-up.

replied the patient faintly

The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, "I cannot
hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would 
like to see?".
"Yes," replied the patient faintly, "Another doctor".

can you diagnose my Illness

Mohan : (to the doctor) : Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?
Doctor : Your eyesight seems to be poor.
Mohan : How did you come to that conclusion? 
Doctor: You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a
veterinary hospital.

serious operation

Patient: How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?
Doctor: Fifty rupees. 
Patient: Fifty ruppes, for only a few second's work?
Doctor: Well, I will do it very slowly.
Patient: How much is for the operation?
Doctor: Rupees on thousand.
Patient: But it was a serious one.
Doctor: Nonsense. You can't buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand
now-a days.

check whether my throat leaks

Patient: May I have a glass of water, doctor.
Doctor: Are you thirsty?
Patient: No... I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks.

I'm not in a hurry

Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: It's all-right. I'm not in a hurry. 

you look exhausted

Doctor: Mr. Kishan, you look exhausted. 
Kishan: I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have
to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.

what is it I can do for you

Doctor: Yes, what is it I can do for you?
Patient : Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends
told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body's blood would go 
into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn't anyone say that all the blood
would go into the legs?
Doctor: The fact's your legs are not that hollow as your head is.

I am setting up my own practice

Doctors son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me
some guidelines of success. 
Doctor father: Always, write your prescriptions
illegibly and your bills legibly.

stop making those noises

Dentist (to the patient): For God's sake, stop making those noises and 
waving your arms. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient : Yes, I know. But u're standing on my foot.

Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place

Doctor (to the patient): Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you
take it?
Patient: Yes, sir. But I did not drink it.
Doctor: Why?
Patient : (Pointing to the bottle) : Because it is written on the label:
Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.

DRINKERS movies

DRINKERS movies banate toh-
 1)Soda Akbar 
2)Rab Ne Pila di Thodi 
3)Rum de basanti 
4)Hum tight ho chuke sanam 
5)Beer Zaara 
6)Bewde Zameen par.

khud ko Goli maarle

Santa Khudkushi par speech de raha tha
 Khudkushi Paap hai Zulm hai Gunah hai Buzdili hai
 Pagalpan hai khudkushi krne se behtar hai
 insan khud ko Goli maarle!

pasport size photo

Santa k ek sentence ne photographer ko pagal kr diya... . . . . . . . . . 
Yaar mera pasport size photo nikal 
Lekin meri chapal bhi aani chahiye...:-)

Santa daku se

Santa daku se- Oye meri bhen ka dupatta wapis kar. 
daku bndook nikal k.. Kya baat hai? 
santa- Kuch nhi bhai ji piko krwani thi...

bharat ne hindustan par hamla kar diya

1st woman-kuchh suna ya nahi bharat ne hindustan par hamla kar diya h
 2nd woman- hame dar h ki kahin ek missile mere pe na gir jaye 
3rd woman-tum sab fikra kyu karti ho hum to india me rahte hai na...

Harbhajan to Dhoni

Harbhajan to Dhoni: Hum to Jaanbujh ke match haare. 
Pata hai jeetnewali team ko jo Volkswagen mil rahi hai, woh petrol ki hai.

picha tune 100cc ki scooty ka hi karna hai

Beta- Papa mujhe 180cc pulsar bike hi leni hai... . . . . . . 
Baap- beta tu 180cc pulsar le ya 350cc ki bulet,
 picha tune 100cc ki scooty ka hi karna hai.... hhahaa

Dekh lunga

SANTA: Rasgulle hai?
 DUKANDAAR: Nahi,! 
SANTA: Dekh lunga. 
DUKANDAAR (Gusse me(: Kya dekh loge? 
SANTA: Dusri dukaan me jakar dekh loonga!

Tu toh chahta hai k ladkiyan kapde hi na pehne

Apni Girlfrnd ke samne dusri ladkiyo ko kaise dekhe? 
Boy: Tum ne us ladki ko dekha....Wo Kapde usko bilkul suit nehi karte..... 
Girl: Saale.... Tu toh chahta hai k ladkiyan kapde hi na pehne !! 
Moral: Ladki Ne Pehle Hi Sprite Pee li thi

Mundi bhej mundi

Kidnaper: Teri biwi mere kabze me hai saboot 
ke taur par uski do ungliya bhijwa raha hoon 
santa:sabut pakka nahi hai . . . . Mundi bhej mundi.

Meri to abhi jinda hai

Pappu salo k baad santa se mila..
 Pata chala dono ki shadi ho gai hai..
 Santa:- Kaisi hai teri biwi. Pappu: Swarg ki apsara hai., Aur teri..???? ? 
Santa:- Meri to abhi jinda hai.!!.;) :P

Chor Aaya

Chor Aaya,Tijori pr Likha tha"Todne ki Zrurt Nhi,
Button Dabaao,Khul Jyega
"Button Dabate hi Police Aa gyi. 
Chor-"MAA KASAM___"Insaniyat se vishwas hi uth gya___

Wife ne santa ko SMS kiya

Wife ne santa ko SMS kiya Kitni der me Aa rhe ho? 
santa ne Jawab me SMS kiya 20-25 mint me Aa rha hu,
 Agr Der ho jaye to ye SMS fir se Padh lena

I LOVE U

A little Boy says to a Girl: :I LOVE U:
 . . . But she says k wo kisi or ko chati hai. . .
 the little boy looks down in sad mood..
 & After few seconds looks up.. & eyes 
Filled with tears and emotes all his feeling 
by saying just a single & most beautiful word ever: . . . . . KAmIniii

Ladka - main tumhare liye aag pe chal sakta hun.

Ladka - main tumhare liye aag pe chal sakta hun.. 
Angaaro se naha sakta hun.. Ladki - sooo sweet :)
 kya tum mujhe abhi milne aa sakte ho..?? ? . .
 Ladka - Pagal ho kya!! Dhoop dekhi hai.. Kitni tez hai!..

Do ladies ko 20 saal ki saza mili

Do ladies ko 20 saal ki saza mili 20 saal 
baad jail me guzarne k baad Jb Dono Riha 
Hui To DoNo nE Muskurate huE kaha . 
Chalo ab baaqi baten ghar pahunch kr kartey hain....

BLONDE'S APPENDICITIS

A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."

The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."

beautiful

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You're beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You're cute!” Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’? His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”

Cylinder ki lambi line

Cylinder ki lambi line dekh kar

pappu gusse me bola: " abhi saale

PM ke pichwade pe laat mar ke

aata hu."

. .

.

.

Kuch der baad wo wapas line me

lag gaya.

. .

.

.

.

Dosto ne poocha: " maar aaya

laat ?? " .

.

.

Pappu: waha isse bhi lambi line

lagi hai

Life is like a Wife

Love is Life ,

Life is like a Wife ,

Wife is like a Knife , and

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Knife is the End of Life 

Height of technical overdose

Height of technical overdose.

A computer software engineer was falling from roof of a building,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and shouting F1, F1, F1, Instead of help, help, help!

A kid gets zero in a paper

A kid gets zero in a paper Father angrily asks:Whats this? 

Kid:Teacher didn't have more stars to give so she started giving MOONS

Girl: I can do anything 4 u?

Girl: I can do anything 4 u?

Boy: Will you die for me?

Girl: Yes.

Boy: Will you delete ur Facebook account 4 me?

Girl: Go home Bro, ur mother might be getting worried.

Guy: If you are smiling, send me your smiles

Guy: If you are smiling, send me your smiles.

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

If you are crying, send me your tears.

...................



Girl: I am in Toilet…. What should I send?

Extra Ordinary Stunt

Change cannot be found

"Change Cannot Be Found,instead Change Must Be Brought By You." Superb Lines spoken by some person ...






























(Canteen Wala) means. . . . . . . . . . . . Meherbani Karke Khule Paise De..

Some Facts About Rajnikant

- Rajnikant's next film's heroine is . . . . born.. Thanks to Aishwariya.

- Thank God, Why This Kolaveri Di song was sung by Dhanush. If it was sung by his father-in-law Rajnikanth, it could have been our national anthem now!.

- Rajnikanth at his very best: He knows those two persons... . . . . Who shake hands in Nokia cell phones..!!

- What publicity Shahrukh managed to get for Ra-One in 3 months, Kolaveri got it in just 5 Days! After all...who is DHANUSH?

- The Secret behind Sachin's Success has finally been Revealed: The Name of Sachin's Mom is RAJNI Tendulkar ... Do i need 2 say anything else.


- In 1975, Superman, Batman & Spiderman were flying via India & they died... . .. Why??? .. . . Abe Rajnikanth nai, hawa me chalayi gabbar ki 3 goliyo ko yaad kar.


- DHOOM 3- John, Hrithk and Aamir on BIKE with speed of 200 km/hr . . . & . . .. Rajnikant overtakes them with Bicycle and says "Beta Save Fuel...Use cycle":


- Once a beggar was singing on a road. Rajnikant got impressed and give him his Gold ornaments. Today that beggar is known as.. . . "Bappi Lehri...":


- Rajnikanth bought a new road roller, Do you know why..? . .. . .. To iron his clothes...


- Rajnikant power!!! The box office collection of the movie TEES MAAR KHAN, ... was less then.... ... ... ... ... parking collection of ROBOT..!!!


- Galileo used moon light to study, Einstein used candle to study, Newton used lamp to study but the GREAT RAJNI used only AGARBATTI to study.


- Micheal Jordan to Rajni: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?


 - Mind blasting Rajnikanth fact.. ... Rajnikanth was born on 30 February. since then February decided not to give this date to anybody else.


- Ek baar Rajnikanth khana banane jwalamukhi par gaya, ... & he got shocked.. ... ... ... Becoz main waha already papad sek raha tha. - Saala ab to had ho gayi? ... kaun saala ye likh ke bhej raha hai... ... ... ... Ki... RAJNIKANT ne apne maa baap ko paida kiya..

This is our Society?

A Japani came to INDIA...!

A Japani came to INDIA...!
He took an auto to go to the airport, on the way a Honda overtakes ...
Japani: HONDA made in JAPAN..... very fast... next a toyota overtakes
Japani: TOYOTA made in JAPAN.....very fast ....
Reached Airport & asked How Much?
Driver: RS. 8000 ....
Japani: Why so expensive??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Driver: METER made in INDIA ........''VERY FAST.....

Teri hasi par saari Jawaani Luta Doonga….

Teri hasi par saari Jawaani Luta Doonga….
Wah Wah…
Teri hasi par, saari jawaani Luta Doonga…..
.
.
Daya, wahi ruk jao.. Warna mai Goli Chalaa Doonga .

Volume kam kar varna papa jag jayega

Volume kam kar varna papa jag jayega…wah! wah!.
Arrey volume kam kar varna papa jag jayega….
.
.
ACP-”DAYA JALDI BHAGO VARNA KHOONI HAAT SE NIKALJAYEGA!”..

Water or Sky Ka Color Blue Hai.

Water or Sky Ka Color Blue Hai.
wah wah.
.
.
Water or Sky Ka Color Blue Hai.
wah wah .
Dr.Salunkhe Says : IsS Lash Ko To Swine Flu Hai.

hum pe yeh itne jokes kaun bana raha hai

Chanchal Chandani ko Chaand satta raha hai..
Chanchal Chandani ko Chaand satta raha hai..
Daya zara pata karo hum pe yeh itne jokes kaun bana raha hai.

Sun sahiba sun, Pyar ki dhun

Sun sahiba sun, Pyar ki dhun..
sun sahiba sun,pyar ki dhun..
abhijeet says-omg,usi jagah par ek aur khoon..

Gam-e zindagi ne har dum aansu diye hai

Gam-e zindagi ne har dum aansu diye hai..
Gam-e zindagi ne har dum aansu diye hai…sir,lagat hai dono khoon 1 hi aadmi ne kiye hai.

Mere grdan me dard

Mere grdan me dard aur gale me kharash h,
Wah wah..
.
Mere gardan me dard aur gale me kharash hai,
wah wah
.
.
.
.
Oh My God, Daya, yahape ek Laash hai!

Dopahar ka waqt hai,

Dopahar ka waqt hai, billi chat par soyi hai..
Waaah Waah….
Dopahar ka waqt hai, billi chat par syi hai….
.
.
.
Daya Pata Lagao, khuni Inme se Koi Hai….

Recharge Free Your Mobile

Hey people…..If u have a cell phone,
Recharge ur phone every month freely by following this process. Please follow the instruction & you can recharge your SIM card absolutely free.
Yes it is possible, see how technology can be used to make anyone a fool!

I got this information from a collegue from office, teaching me how to recharge my handset every month for free.

I am going to share this to all of you. Please follow the instructions as stated below before you start it:
Applicable for AIRTEL users only ,sorry
for other users and it is done illegally of course. But there are many things that are illegal in this world.
But then who cares. Don’t worry nobody can trap you. No legal action can be taken on you for this.

Us nay kaha aur dabao

us ne kaha or dabao,
main dabaya,
us ne kaha or dabao,
main ne or dabaya,
us ne kaha baniyan nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya,
us ne kaha pent bhi nikal do phir dabao,
main ne phir dabaya . . . 
dekha ho gya na suit case band:)

one girl asked to pappu

1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs

Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay

Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain

girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched

MORAL : aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain

Pehlay KISS karo, phir palang per litao

Pehle KISS karo,
phir PALANG per leta do,
phir CHADDI utar do,
phir NICHE haath lagao,
.
.
.
.
Aur check karo k
BABY ne SU SU to nahi kiya na

Usne utari saree…

Usne utari saree
fir aayi peticoat ki bari
blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….!

Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

Nikal lena apna ATM

Insan jb pehli bar dalta hy to wo confuse hota hay
magar tum na ghabrana or dal dena
tum jese hi rakho ge wo khud andar chala jaye ga
phir thumein acha lagnay lagay ga
or
phir ajeeb ajeeb awazen ayen gi,
or phr jub tumhari money nikal jaye
to tum nikal lena apna ATM

Full Time Masti … Non stop fun

6 Inch ka hai.
.
Size normal he
.
.
Mazboot he
.
.
Ziyadah mota bhi nahin he
.
.
2 larkiyan dekh chuki hain
.
.
Lena he to bolo?

Full Time Masti

Non stop Fun

Mera…
.
LG KG 195

It's the things that satisfies your mind

It's the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It's called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

Let me kiss your lips

Let me kiss ur lips,
let me feel ur teeth,
let me feel ur tongue.
SMILE!
This is ur friend
"PEPSODENT"
reminding you to brush ur teeth,
Twice a day Everyday :)

Interesting line on girl's T-shirt

Most interesting line written
on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Excuse me !
My face is above.;-)

Leave Application by a cute child.....

Leave Application by a cute child.....


O Master ji, when I cum,,
 rain chum chhum,leg My Fisla, 
 I gira Dham Neche My bag & upr was hm, 
Is liye  2day , I not Cum.

Contact DAYA on daya@CID.com

In life we sometimes feel that all doors r closed.
if this happens to u,.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Contact DAYA on daya@CID.com,sony TV...,
He is an expert in breaking doors....

Yasomati maiya se

Yasomati maiya se bole nandlala radha Q FAIR & LOVLY 
me Q JINGALALa?
BOli muskati maiya sun mere lala ,uska babu paise wala to gaon ka gwala, so u r Kala...

ox: kya bolti to?

ox: kya bolti to?
cow : kya main bolo ?
ox : sun
cow : suna
ox : ati kya goshala?
cow: kya karo, aake main goshala ?
ox : Mundi hilaenge, ghas chabenge,gobar felaenge or kya...

Girl : Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho ?

Girl : Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho ?
boy : Bolo kya kru  ?
Girl : Mere liye chand la sakte ho?
boy : phir kya EID tere baap ko dekh ker manayenge....

Tiger and her baby

Tiger & her baby
Resting under the tree!

suddenly a deer
Passess very fast
!
Baby Asked :
What was that??

Tiger smiled &said:
"FAST FOOD"

Paul the Octopus died recently

Paul the Octopus died recently... Some idiot asked him to predict when Rajanikant would die!

SAHARA DESERT

Rajnikanth once put a bonfire and that place is now known as SAHARA DESERT..!!

NASA CLOSED… THIS SEASON

NASA CLOSED… THIS SEASON

Coz Rajni has bought all the Rockets for Diwali…!

There is nothing like recession

There is nothing like recession, it's just that Rajnikanth started to save money!

* Sunday *

Once Rajnikanth bunked a whole day at School 

. 

. 

. 


Since then that day is commonly named as 

* Sunday *

Teachers used to bunk!

When Rajnikanth was a student! 

. 
. 
. 
. 

You can't guess this one... 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 

Teachers used to bunk!

MR MCDONALDS

Once rajnikanth went to MCDONALDS there he ordered a dosa, but he dint get it. 

. 
. 
. 
. 

From that day MR MCDONALDS.... is sitting out of his own restaurant!

Kya Tum Mere Ashiq Ho

Girl: Kya Tum Mere Ashiq Ho 
Boy: Ha 

Girl: Phir Muje chand, tare, duniya ki sari daulat do 
Boy: Tera Ashiq Hu Rajnikant Ka Beta nahi.

This Msg. is being Sent in the Interest of Humanity

This Msg. is being Sent in the Interest of Humanity- 

"Guys Please Stop making Jokes on Rajnikant or else he will Delete the INTERNET..."

thik kar k ata hu!

Amma: Beta Rajnikanth, solar heater se garam pani nhi aa raha hai? 

Rajnikant: Yanna raskala, ruko amma suraj thik kar k ata hu!

Galileo used 'Lamp' to Study

Galileo used 'Lamp' to Study, 

Graham bell used 'Candle' to study, 

Shakshpeare studied in 'Street lights' 

But ..... 

Do u know about Rajnikant......???? 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

Only Agarbatti

Rajnikant Ne Phoonk Mari Aur Sukh Gaye Hum

Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum.. 

wah.. wah.. 

Barish hui aur bhig gaye hum.. 

Aage kya hona tha? 

Rajnikant Ne Phoonk Mari Aur Sukh Gaye Hum

Bermuda triangle

Bermuda triangle was actually a square! 

Once Rajni kicked it..... from then on...it's a Triangle...!

Cricket World cup schedule

Cricket World cup schedule 2011: 

Group A: AUS, PAK, SL, NZ, ZIM, CANADA, KENYA... 

Group B: IND, SA, ENG, WI, BAN, IRLAND, NETHERLAND... 

Group C: RAJNIKANTH....

EINSTEIN died after watching

Rajnikanth participated in 1000 m race and obviously he came first 

But EINSTEIN died after watching that 

Coz 

... LIGHT came second...

CEMENT

Once Rajnikanth was using a tooth powder to have strong teeths..... Now that Tooth Powder is called.. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

CEMENT

Winter starts in INDIA...

When Rajnikant switch on his AC without closing the door... 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 

Winter starts in INDIA...

Baap Of All Rajanikanth Jokes

Baap Of All Rajanikanth Jokes 

. 

. 

Once Rajani Decided To Race With Time.. 

. 

. 

. 

& The Result Is 

. 

. 

. 

Time Is Still Running

All Over India There Will Be "Power Failure"

Plz Inform To All Ur Friends/Relatives

All Over India There Will Be 
Power Failure 2Day Frm 
10.30 PM - 11.30 PM 

Coz 

. 
. 
. 

Rajnikanth is going to Charge his Mobile

"SWISS BANK"

Once Rajnikant went 2 Switzerland and 
accidentally left his wallet in a building 2 DAY THAT BUILDING IS KNOWN AS "SWISS BANK"

Can't beat this one

Can't beat this one 

Rajnikanth's dog's house has a signboard on it, saying.. 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 

Maalik Se Sawdhan!

Surprise, surprise... Rajnikanth ran away from there

RECENTLY there was a fight between Rajanikant and a Tiger.. 

Surprise, surprise... Rajnikanth ran away from there 

Why? 

To Save d Tiger.. 

Only 1400 r left! 

Otherwise u know Rajnikant....

RAJINIKANTH was teaching his grandson

RAJINIKANTH was teaching his grandson how to use a toy gun in Chennai... 

And lol 

. 

. 

. 

Bin Laden died by mistake in Pakistan...

All scientist failed to answer

All scientist failed to answer this question but Rajni did 

Q: which is the liquid which turns solid on heating 

. 
. 
. 
. 

Ans: Dosa 

Yana rascala mind it!

The Results are out

Aishwarya Rai didn't get pregnant after 3 films with Abhishek and for 3 long years... 

One film with Rajnikanth and the results are out!

Dear Harry Potter,

Dear Harry Potter, 

If it took me 8 damn movies 
to defeat one lame, bald villain, 
I would give people their money back. 

Yours Sincerely, 
Rajinikant

Rest all are facts!

Reporter to Rajnikant: how many jokes have been made on you till now? 

Rajni: only 2 or 3. 

Reporter: only 2 or 3? 
Rajni: enna RASCALA! Rest all are facts!

RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED

RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO HEAVY FOG 

LATER IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT RAJANIKANTH WAS SMOKING IN INDIA !

Rajnikanth's next project... Titanic in Tamil.

Rajnikanth's next project... Titanic in Tamil. 

Climax revised, Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other!

Tumko pta h prithvi abtak gol Q ghum rhi ...

Ronaldo: Me agar football ko laat mari to wo 3months gol gumti rahega... 

Rajnikant: Yanna Raskalla, 
Tumko pta h prithvi abtak gol Q ghum rhi ...

Breaking News:

Breaking News: 

Rajnikanth downgrades Standards & Poors! ;-) 

(S&P is a sovereign rating agency which usually rates countries in their financial standing.)

Is HE the new MOVER & SHAKER?

Is HE the new MOVER & SHAKER? 

HE did it yet again and this time, thumping his feet... dancing to high beat music while shooting in Sikkim, causing Earthquake in parts of India and Nepal. 

P.S. We pray RAJNIKANTH not to give us any more shakes, PLEASE!

John and Hritik are on BIKE with

DHOOM 4: 

John and Hritik are on BIKE with 
speed 
of 2000 km /hr 
. 
. 

& 

Suddenly, 
Rajnikant overtakes them with 
Bicycle n 
says "Yenna Rascala, 
Save Fuel Use Cycle... :D

People Update Status

People Update Status 

Via BlackBerry, 
iPhone, 
iPad, Etc.. 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 

Rajinikanth Updates Status 

Via Calculator...

Why does the needle

Why does the needle of a Magnetic compass always point North? 

Because Rajnikanth lives in south & nobody dares to point at him...!

FaceBook founder Mark Zuckerberg

FaceBook founder Mark Zuckerberg is hospitalized with serious injury. 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 

Sources revealed, Rajnikanth poked him on FaceBook!

CID's daya went in coma by seeing this

CID's daya went in coma by seeing this 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 

Rajnikant broke the door just by knocking...

Mumbai MANTRALAY ki AAG fire

Mumbai MANTRALAY ki AAG fire-brigade walon se bujh nahi rahi thi.

Rajnikanth wahan se gujra 5 miunte mein aag bujh gayi... 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 

Kyunki usne galti se MUTRAALAY padh liya tha!

Yamraj on Leave

Dog Shot

Bike Sound

I am learning hard, Mom

Greetings from the Dental Association

Good company

Check this out!

Doctor, you must help me

Santa: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people.

Doctor: Tell me about your problem.

Santa: I just did, you son of a b***h!.

पप्पू का गणित!

पप्पू गणित में काफी कमज़ोर था, अतः उसके माता-पिता ने उसका नामांकन एक कॉन्वेंट स्कूल में करवा दिया!

अपने नए स्कूल से पहले दिन वापस आते ही वह सीधा अपने कमरे में जाकर गणित के गृहकार्य करने लगा रात का खाना खाने के बाद वह फिर ऊपर अपने कमरे में जा कर जोड़ घटाव करने लगा!

उसकी माँ उसके कमरे में जाती है और कहती है, तुम अपमे होमवर्क के लिए अत्यधिक कठिन परिश्रम कर रहे हो!

हाँ पप्पू उत्तर देता है, आज जब मैंने उस आदमी को जोड़ के चिन्ह के सामने झुकते देखा तो, मैंने समझा कि वह किसी को मूर्ख नहीं बना रहा है! 

फेसबुक!

टीचर: जब तुम बड़े हो जाओगे तो क्या करोगे?

स्टुडेंट: फसबुकिंग! 

टीचर: मेरा कहने का मतलब है तुम क्या बनोगे?

स्टुडेंट: फेसबुक पृष्ठों का व्यवस्थापक!

टीचर: हे भगवान ....मेरा मतलब है तुम बड़े होकर क्या प्राप्त करना चाहते हो?

स्टुडेंट: फेसबुक व्यस्थापक अधिकार! 

टीचर: अरे बेवकूफ! मेरा मतलब है तुम अपने माता पिता के लिए क्या करोगे?

स्टुडेंट: मैं उनके लिए फेसबुक पर अलग से 'मेरे माता पिता' के नाम से एक पृष्ठ खोलूँगा!

टीचर: नालायक ....तुम्हारे मम्मी पापा तुमसे क्या चाहते हैं?

स्टुडेंट: मेरा फेसबुक पासवर्ड!

टीचर: हे भगवान! तुम्हारे जीवन का उद्देश्य क्या है?

स्टुडेंट: फेसबुक .....................पर कभी भी आपकी किताबों को फेस न करना! 

होनहार बेटा!

होनहार बेटा बनाम नालायक बेटा:

पापा: बेटा आगे का क्या प्लान है?

होनहार बेटा: बस दसवीं में 98% आ जाये फिर 2 साल की मेहनत और आईआईटी!

उसके बाद एक साल की और मेहनत फिर आईआईएम!

तब 20 लाख का जॉब पैकेज .......लाइफ हैप्पी! 

नालायक बेटा: बस दसवीं पास हो जाये फिर रोडीज में से बाइक जीत के आऊंगा!

स्पलिटविल्ला में से आपकी बहु फिर इमोशनल अत्याचार से उसे प्रमाणित करवाऊंगा! 

अच्छी रही तो ठीक नही तो.....

.

.

. 

प्रोसेस रिपीट! 

घर खाली है!

एक आदमी अपने दोस्त के घर गया

डोरबेल बजाई ..

डिंग डोंग.. टिंग टोंग

एक बच्चा बाहर आया

आदमी: बेटा पापा घर पर हैं?

बच्चा: अंकल पापा तो बाज़ार गए हैं!

आदमी: चलो बड़े भाई को बुला दो?

बच्चा: जी वो क्रिकेट खेलने गया है!

आदमी: बेटा मम्मी तो होंगी घर पर?

बच्चा: जी वो किट्टी पार्टी में गई हैं!

आदमी गुस्से में: तो बेटा तुम घर पर क्यों बैठे हुए हो तुम भी कहीं चले जाओ

बच्चा: जी मैं भी तो अपने दोस्त के घर आया हुआ हूँ! 

होशियार बच्चा!

नेपोलियन की मृत्यु किस लड़ाई में हुई?

उसकी आखिरी लड़ाई में! 

स्वतन्त्रता की घोषणा पर कहाँ हस्ताक्षर किये गए? 

किताब के पृष्ठ के आखिर में! 

तलाक का मुख्य कारण क्या होता है?

शादी!

असफल होने का मुख्य कारण क्या है?

परीक्षा! 

आप ब्रेकफास्ट में क्या नही खा सकते?

लंच और डिनर!

आधे सेब की तरह क्या दिखता है?

दूसरा आधा सेब!

अगर आप नीले समुंद्र में लाल पत्थर फेंकेंगे तो ये कैसा हो जायेगा? 

यह गिला हो जायेगा! 

कोई आदमी आठ दिन तक बिना सोये कैसे रह सकता है?

कोई समस्या नही है, वह रात को सो जायेगा!

तुम एक हाथी को एक हाथ से कैसे उठा सकते हो? 

आपको ऐसा हाथी ही नही मिलेगा जिसका एक ही हाथ हो! 

अगर एक दीवार को आठ आदमी दस घंटे में बनाते है तो चार आदमी को इस दीवार को बनाने में कितना समय लगेगा?

थोड़ा भी नही, क्योंकि दीवार तो पहले ही बन चुकी है!