Computer Term Dictionary

586: 
The average IQ needed to understand a PC. 


State-of-the-art: 
Any computer you can't afford. 


Obsolete: 
Any computer you own. 


Microsecond: 
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. 


G3: 
Apple's new Macs that make you say, "Gee, it's three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a microsecond ago." 


Syntax Error: 
Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object." 



Hard Drive: 
The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error. 


GUI (pronounced "gooey"): 
What your computer becomes after spilling your coke on it. 


Keyboard: 
The standard way to generate computer errors. 


Mouse: 
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. 


Floppy: 
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.


Portable Computer: 
A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.


Disk Crash: 
A typical computer response to any critical deadline. 


System Update: 
A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.