TIMEs OF INDIA

Girl - What are you doing ? 
Boy- I was doing a job with TIMEs OF INDIA.. but now I left job. 
Girl-Oh God why? . . . . . . 
Boy-kaun sala subah subah uthe aur paper daalne jaaye..!

Bache hai kuch bhi bolte rehte hai

Ek murgi aur uske 3 bache road cross kar rahe the. Road cross karne k baad murgi k 1 bache ne kaha, hum saato ne road cross karli 7 kaise..? . . . Socho, . . . Read msg again, thoda dimag lagao..!
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. Arre yaar, Bache hai kuch bhi bolte rehte hai. 

Mene Cigarette Peena chor diYa H

Ek Engineer 2 Cigarettes Pee RahaTha ........ . grl : 2 Cigarette Q Pee Rahe Ho ? . Engineer : Dost ki Yad Aa Rahi He, 1 Meri Or 1 Mere Dost ki... . . Kuch Din Baad Engineer 1 Cigarette Pee Raha Tha... . grl : Dost ko Bhool Gaye kYa? . Engineer : Nhi BewaKoof, Mene Cigarette Peena chor diYa H . Ab Sirf DosT ki Pee Rha Hu !!!

Arz kiya hai

1KAVI garibi se tang akar Daaku Ban gya Daaka dalne 1bank me gya or kaha, Arz kiya hai. Takdir me jo hai whi Milega, Hands Up koi apni jagah se nhi hilega. Kuch khwab meri ankho se nikal do, Jo kuch bhi tumhare paas hai jaldi se is bag me daal do. Bahut koshish karta hu uski yaad bhulane ki, Koi koshish na kre police ko bulane ki. Bhula de mujhko kya jata hai tera, Me goli maar dunga jo kisi ne picha kiya mera..

stunts are performed only by professionals

Open your books , switch off your mobiles and start studying
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The above stunts are performed only by professionals ...
please don't try this at home !

"DHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP"

Jaadu got married to a girl on earth,
On next morning after wedding nite,
girl asked..

"Puri raat nikal gayi,tumne kuch kiya q nahi?"
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Jaadu replied,
"DHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP"

Safety Tip for Winters !!

Safety Tip for Winters !!
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Stand in front of mirror
with one glass of water...
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&
throw water on d mirror & say- " Ahaa.. Nahaa liye..!  

Bahaduri kya hai ???.

Bahaduri kya hai ???.
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Der raat Jab aap frnds k party
k baad
ghr aao..
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Aur mumy gate par jhaadu lekar
khadi ho.............
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Or Aap pucho: hey mom, abhi
tak
jhaadu lga rhi ho

Jeevan me 1 baat yaad rakhna,

Jeevan me 1 baat yaad rakhna,
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Aansu pochne wale kai mil jayenge,
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Par
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Nak pochne koi nhi aata,
Isliye THAND aa gayi hai apna dhyan
rakhna...

Bring Your Parents tomorrow

Live for others, Not only for Yourself

"Aur sunao"

The most difficult question to answer
ever
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"Aur sunao"

Naughty ENGINEERS..!!

ENGINEER's wife : How m i looking
today?
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Engineer: tan c/sin c
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wife: huh
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Engineer: tan c/sin c
= (sin c/cos c)/sin C
=1/cos c
=sec c...

Naughty ENGINEERS..!!

Bill Gates decided not to invest further in India after receiving a letter from Mr Banta

Bill Gates decided not to invest further in India after receiving a letter from Mr Banta ...

To,
Bill Gates,
Microsoft,

From: Banta

Date: 1 April 2013

Subject: Problems with my new computer...

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice ...

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button.
We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system?
I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working.
My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find 'button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learned 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer,
CPU,mouse and keyboard,but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'.
When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'.
For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'.
I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Last one Mr. Bill Gates

P.S: "Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS ?"

Regards,

Banta ..

sun ke accha lagta hai

Ek student roz roz maths sir ko
phone lagata..
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Sir's wife:-kitni baar bataya...
k woh mar chuke hai.
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Fir baar baar phone kyu karte
ho....??
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Student :- sun ke accha lagta hai.

kiss kya kar li

Dad to Son : Son Why do
you look so upset ?
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Son : I Can't tell you Dad.
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Dad : Treat me as your
friend.
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Son : Yaar kal date par
kiss kya kar li,
teri bhabhi naraaz ho gayi
hai..!!

Why Boys get Blocked:

Why Boys get Blocked:
Boy:What's your Name??
Girl: Palak and you?
Boy: Paneer *BLOCKED!!!*
Girl : Hello i am Khusbu
Boy : khusbu ka dusra naam
bharosa agarbati....kon e kone me
khusbu faila de
*BLOCKED!!!*
Boy: Hi, whats ur name??
Girl: its Neha Singhal.
Boy: oh. . M also Single.
*BLOCKED!!!*
Girl: What's Up?
Boy: Uttar Pradesh. *BLOCKED!!!*
Girl : tu soya hai...??
Boy : Nahi...! Schezwan hu..! *Gets
Blocked Instantly*
Girl: I'm free tommorow!
Boy: pehle kya paid thi??
*BLOCKED!!!*
Boy: Aaj mausam achha h mall
chalte he.
Girl: waha kya karenge??
Boy: hawan karenge,
hawan karenge.
*BLOCKED!!!*
Girl: Have a Good Day. Boy: No
thank you... I like Parle-G more.
*BLOCKED!!!*
Girl: I need some Space.
Boy: Ok then go to Sonakshi
Sinha's forehead. *BLOCKED!!!*
Girl puts up her status :
"waiting for CHENNAIEXPRESS ".
Boy: COOLIE hai kya? ? *BLOCKED!!!
Boy- Thank you
Girl-My pleasure Boy-
My Bajaj Pulsar *Reported as
spam* *Blocked Forever*
After fight: Girl: Tum mujhe
manaate hi nahin!
Boy: Tum kya ho?
Diwali ho? Ya Holi?
*BLOCKED!!!*

THE SUM OF WHICH

A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in maths?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

Live Radio Station

Pappu ne "Live Radio Station" call ki :
Hello.. ji ye Radio station hai ?
RJ: ji Haan
Pappu: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha
hai ?
R.J: Haan
Pappu: Yani ghar mein jo meri behan
Radio sunn rahi hai.. wo Bhi sun rahi
hogi..?
R.J (Ghusse me) : Haaan bai haan:-|
Pappu: Hello Gullo! Agar meri aawaz sun
rahi hai.. toh jaldi se Motor chala de...!
Main uper chhat par.. Toilet mein huu
aur Paani khatam ho gaya hai...!!

Dabaa k rakh saale ko MAI BHI AATA HU..

2 choohe ped par baithe the
Niche se ek hathi Guzra...
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1 Chooha hathi par gir gya
Tabhi dusra chooha bola....
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Dabaa k rakh saale ko
MAI BHI AATA HU..

Get Married........

Get Married........

Not for urself, but

For the future of ur children,
...

They r getting late for IIT, AIEEE, PMT and CAT

Cut-offs are increasing day by day

Hurry up!! 

"Raanjhana Engineered"

"Raanjhana Engineered"

Bass.. Bass itni hi kahaani thi
meri..
Ek kitab thi jise maine
semester bhar chhua nai tha.
ek kuch teachers the jo abhi
bhi iss ummeed me the ki
shayad
launda pass ho jaye.
do roomie the jo pagal the.
Ek aur kitab thi jo course ki nai
thi jise mai 3
baar padh chuka tha.
mera lappy tha, mobile tha,
daru ki bottlen thi, aur ye ek
dimag thajo hamara sath
chhod chuka tha, aur ye ek
hamara
dil tha jisme ab bhi himmat
baki thi.
hum padh sakte the, par kiske
liye, hum fod sakte the par
kiske liye.
mere dost, hostel, college ki
galiyan, sab mujhse chhut
raha tha, par rakh bhi kiske
liye lete. mere dil ki takat ya to
mujhe pass kara sakti thi ya
meri watt laga sakti
thi... par sala ab padhe kaun,
kaun fir se mehnat kare
xerox karane ko, notes ratane
ko.
abe koi to awaaz deke rok lo,
ye faculty jo class me har roz
hamarilete rehte hain, aaj bhi
agar theekse padhaye to
mahadev ki kasam top kar
jayen...par nahi, ab sala mood nai hai,
kitab band kar lene me hi sukh
hai, notes rakh dene me hi
bhalai hai.

Par uthenge kisi roz, back
papers clear karwane ko,
b.tech pass ho jane ko, garv se
engineer kehlaneko..!!

Take some fresh air

India is the only country

India is the only country where
distance is
measured in time ........
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Oye bhai kitni dur or hai?
Are bas 5 min aur
..
India Incredible India

do saboot aur pesh kiye jayein

wakeel: my lord kanoon ki kitaab ke saffha number 15 ke mutabiq mere muakkal ko ba izzat-bari kia jaye.
JUDGE: kitaab paish ki jaye
(kitab pesh ki gaye)
judge ny saffa khola to uss mei 5000, 5000 k do note thay.
JUDGE: is tarah k do saboot aur pesh kiye jayein

having discussion in a bar

Two terrorists 
having discussion in a bar.

The waiter asks them
what the discussion was about ?

Terrorist :- We are
planning to kill 14
thousand people and a donkey..

Waiter :- Why a donkey ?
Then one terrorist says to the other, 
"See I told you nobody will care
about the 14 thousand people

Kya app Fast English Parh Sakte Hain

Kya app Fast English Parh Sakte Hain??
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.My
A my
They my
They they my
A my they na my
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Khullay Nai Hen Maaf Kro BaBa. 

mai kaise paida hua

Boy to his mom: Mumma mai kaise
paida
hua??
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Mom: Maine 1 bartan me mitti dal kar
rakh di, kuch din baad usme se tum
muje mile. 

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Bache ne aisa hi kiya. 
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Ab kuch din baad usne jakar dekha to
usme 1 mendak tha. 

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Bacha:{gusse se} dil to krta h k Sale, 
tujhe goli mar du, par kya kru?
Aulad hai tu meri!.

Ek Sachchi Ghatna Jise Sochkar Insaan Ki

Ek Sachchi Ghatna Jise Sochkar
Insaan Ki
Rooh Tak Kaanp Jaaye,
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Lekin Zaalimo Ke Haath Tak Bhi
Nahi
Kaanpe...
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GWALIOR Ki Ek
17 Saal Ki LADKI,
Jisne Abhi-Abhi 12th Pass Ki Thi,
Aur Abhi Jo Din Uske Enjoy Karne
Ke The.
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Uske Sage MAMA Ne
Behlaa Fuslaa Kar,
Uska
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"ENGINEERING Ka Form Bharwa Hi
Diya....

Wakeup n Study

When I was Studying My Mom Was calling me..
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But I did not respond.. I was deeply involved in
Studies But she Called me again n again..
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I shouted Plz Leave me to Study,
My exam is near plz I want toStudy, I want to Study My Mom Slapped me and
said Stop Dreaming

"Wakeup n Study..:P

FUNNY INTERVIEW

Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father's Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Mind-blowing Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You
May Go
Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance....­?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Puncture.. ...

Jaldbazi Me Shadi Karke

Jaldbazi Me Shadi Karke Saara Jeewan
Bigaad Loge..
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Wah... Wah
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Jaldbazi Me Shadi Karke Saara Jeevan
Bigaad Loge..
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Wah... Wah
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Soch Samajh Ke Karoge To Bhi Kya
Ukhaad Loge..??? :D :p

Talking to Wife

Man outside phone booth: Excuse me !!

You are holding the phone since 20 mins.

&

haven't spoken a word..!!!

Man inside: I'm talking to my wife.....

Kohli calls Dhoni...

Kohli calls Dhoni...
Sakshi picks it up
Sakshi : Hello kaun ?
Kohli : Dhoni hai ?
Sakshi : nhi
Kohli : achaa...waise IPL 5 aur IPL
6 ka final kaun haara
maine dekha nhi ?
Sakshi : abe tu hai kaun...tujhe
kitni baaar btaun CSK haar
gyi
Kohli : bs yahi sunne k liye phone
kiya tha...sun k accha
lagta hai...hahaha

Wo Dene Ke Liye Taiyar Ho Jaati

Ladki Jab 18 Saal Ki Ho Jati Hai To,
Wo Dene Ke Liye Taiyar Ho Jaati
Hai?
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“Vote”
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Kabhi Desh Ke Baare Mein Bhi
Soch
Liya Karo,
Hamesha Apne Bare Mein Hi
Sochte
Ho.

Last night I had a dream of you

BF Trolled
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Girlfriend : "Last night I had a
dream of you."
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Boyfriend (got excited): "Maine
kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa
ke"
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Girlfriend replied : "We were
traveling in bus,
Suddenly the bus lost control and
fell in the river.
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Everyone swam to save their life,
but you were still swimming and
searching for someone."
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Boyfriend (with luv): "I was
searching for you, na?
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Girlfriend said: NO, You were
shouting,
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"Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2
rupaye lene the"

muh meetha kar lena chahiye

Gf:" m just too fed up from our
daily
fights i jst wanna break up wid u..
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Bf:" ok but first take dis choclate..
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Gf:" Ohh so u dont want me to go,
manaa rhe ho mujhe choclate
deke
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Bf:" nahi re pagal, meri maa kehti
hai kuch shubh
kaam karne se pehle..
muh meetha kar lena chahiye...

Ek murgi market gayi ar kaha

Ek murgi market gayi ar kaha :"Ek
anda dena
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Salesman :"Tum anda khud kyo
nhi deti ???
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Murghi :"Mera husband kehta hai
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Jaanu 4 rupee k liye apna figure
mat kharab
karo tum

A dangerous Shayri

A dangerous Shayri-
" Nazro Se utr kr,
dil me bs gyi mere spno
ki shehzadi"
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Mere ruthne pr mere dost k sath
bhag
gyi,
kutti
Kamini,
haramzadi...

Generation effect. .

Generation effect. .
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Ek bccha ro rha tha, toh
uskimummy boli:"kyu ro rha hai
mera lal, kya chahiye.. ??
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Tofy.. ??
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Biscuit.. ??
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Cake.. ??
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Beta:"bas ek sanam chahiye
ashiqui
ke liye..

Remake of Om Shanti Om dialogue

Remake of Om Shanti Om
dialogue
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Ye exams bhi apne hindi filmon ki
tarah hoti hai
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Happys Endings..
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Aur agar aisa nhi hota
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To exam abhi khatam nahi hue,
Re-Test abhi baki hai mere dost
:-P :-D

High Insult..

High Insult..
Teacher:" batao bacho hindi ki
pehli silent movie konsi thi..??
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Pappu:" Sir jab wo film silent thi to
aapko kaise pata chala ki wo
hindi me hai.. ??

Taang Do haramkhorr Ko

Mujrim Ko Fansi Ki Saza Sunane Ke Baad Judge Ne
Us Se Puchha
Judge: “Koi Akhiri Khawish ??
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Mujrim: “Aap Ki Beti Se Shaadi, Blackbery Bold,
Apple I- Phone, 100 Crore Rupaye, U.S.A Ka Visa, 2 Saal Ka Honeymoon Trip, 6-7 Bacche Jo Aapko Nana-Nana
Aur Mujhe Papa-Papa Kahe,
Aur Main Unki Shaadi Karwa
Doon, Uske Baad Aap Jo Bhi FaislaDogeMujhe Manjoor Hoga'
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Judge Zor Se Haste Hue Bola:“ abe saale Meri Koi Beti Hi Nahi Hai,Taang Do haramkhorr Ko 

Abhi Ke Abhi":p :O :D

पप्पू की दबंगई

पप्पू दबंग देखकर स्कूल में आया तो मास्टर जी बोले, "बेटा तुम्हारे सारे उत्तर तो गलत हैं नंबर दें तो कहाँ?"

पप्पू: कमाल है मास्टर जी, नंबर ही तो मांग रहे हैं, चुप चाप दे दो, वर्ना हम थप्पड़ मार के भी ले सकते हैं।

मास्टर: बदतमीज़।

पप्पू: बदतमीज़ से याद आया आपके पापा कैसे हैं?

मास्टर: निकल जा मेरी क्लास से।

पप्पू: चुपचाप से नंबर दे दो वर्ना उत्तर पुस्तिका में इतने छेद करेंगे कि कंफ्यूज हो जाओगे कि नंबर कहाँ दें और जीरो कहाँ दें।

Aaj ki Ladkiya

Aaj ki Ladkiya :P
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Girl:" Ye Jo Samne Ladka Betha Hai,iska Naam Kya Hai
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Waiter:" Yeh "PAPPU"Hai..
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Girl:" Yeh Mujhe 1 Ghante Se Pareshan Kar Raha Hain..
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Waiter:" Magar Wo To Apki Taraf Dekh Bhi Nahi Raha Hai..
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Girl:" Yahi To Pareshanii Hai...:p :O:@ :D
..
Moral:" Duniya Shareefon Ko Jeenay Nahi Deti..:P

*BANIYA COLLECTION*

*BANIYA COLLECTION*

1. Baniya: Yeh banana kaise diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya : 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chhilka milega.
Baniya : Le 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela de de.

2. Baniya on his deathbed.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife: Yes, I'm here
My sons daughters r u all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya: To phir bahar wale kamre
ka pankha kyun chal raha hai ???

3. Baniya 14th floor se neeche gira
Girte waqt usne
apne ghar ki khidki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla ke bola:
MERI ROTI NAHIN PAKANA!

“I work for 7 Up!”

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

CID facts !

CID facts !
1. Daya has a world record of
breaking most no. Of doors
2.Cid bureau has 1 toyota qualis
since last 10yrs
3.In d ntire 20 storeyd building of
cid,only 6 ppl work
4.Der is no police..cid handles
every case
5.Accused person accepts his
crime only aftr getin a slap 4rm
daya on d face

Rajnikant Opens a CoLLege

Rajnikant Opens a CoLLege
But
Students r Confusd
Bcoz
Name of coLLege iS..
'Rajnikant MedicaL CoLLege of
Engineering for
Commrce & Arts :P

Paise wala aadmi

Paise wala aadmi: aaj mere paas
14 cars
18 dukaan
4 Bangle hain.
Tumhare paas kya hai?
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Garib aadmi: mere paas 1 beta
hai,
jiski girlfriend teri beti hai.. =P =D

1 Beautiful Larki ne Ghar ka kuch

1 Beautiful Larki ne Ghar ka kuch
Saman 1 Gali ke
Ladke se Mangwaya,
.
To saaman mein 30 Rs Kam Pad
Gaye..Us Larke Ne
Apne paas se De Diye.
.
Ghar aa kr Lrki Se kaha
30Rs kam They, mene Diye Hain.
.
To Larki ne kaha…
*I LOVE U*
. .
.
Wo Muskraya or Kaha - Zada
chaalak mat ban mere 30Rs
nikaal :D :P

Biggest joke of the century

Upvas in new Style..

Upvas in new Style..
Living 1 day without:" Mobile
Facebook Electricity
Internet
WhatsApp
TV .
.
Ye Upvas kar ke dekho
Bhagwan dharti par aake
kahege,"Bas kar Pagle ab
Rulayega kya ??":p :O :D

Over smartness in INDIA can b deadly

A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door. .

A lady opened it. Before she could speak, .
the salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet. .

Salesman: Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in nxt 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, i'll EAT all this Shit! .

Lady: Do u need Chilli Sauce with that? .

Salesman: why Madam? .

Lady: Because there's no electricity in the house. .

MORAL: Over smartness in INDIA can b deadly =))

you are really pretty !!

Classic Insult:
Boy : I love you
Girl : Shutup
Boy : I Like you
Girl : Shutup
Boy : I Miss you
Girl : Shutup
Boy : you are really pretty !!
Girl : Really ??
Boy : SHUTUP :D :P

Girl : What are you doing ?

Girl : What are you doing ?

Boy : killing mosquitoes

Girl : how many did you killed?

Boy : total 5 ( 3 female 2 male)
Girl : how did you know that?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy : 3 were sitting near mirror and 2 near
beer :D :-P

1PagaL Aaina Dekh K Sochne Laga

1PagaL Aaina Dekh K Sochne Laga
Esko Kahi Dekha H
Thodi Der Sochne K Baad
"O Teri " Ye To Wohi H
.
.
Jo Mere Sath Us din BaaL Ktwa
Raha Tha

Ek Tasveer Dekhkar

Ek Ladki,
ek din Art Gallery dekhne Jati Hai
Aur
Ek Tasveer Dekhkar,
Gallery Ke Malik Se Kahti Hai:
Ladki : iss Bhayanak Tasveer Ko
Aap Modern Art Kehte Ho !?
Maalik : Meri Maa
Tu Dimag Mat Laga,
Ghar Jaa,
Ye Aaina ( mirror ) Hai.

Where's your Ferrari then?

Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs?
Man: 3 packs daily
Lady: How much is per pack for your brand?
Man: $8 a pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: Almost 18 years.
Lady: So one pack costs $8 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $ 720. In one year, it would be $8640. Correct?
Man: Correct.
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $ 8640, you collectively spent $ 155,520. Correct?
Man: Correct.
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 18 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Man: Where's your Ferrari then? :D :/

A Journalist to a Doctor

A Journalist to a Doctor
of a mental hospital &
the following
conversation ensued:
JOURNALIST: How do
you determine to admit a patient or not?
DOCTOR: Well, we first
fill a bathtub with
water till the top. We
then give a teaspoon, a
glass cup and a bucket
to the patient and ask
him/her to empty the bathtub.
JOURNALIST: Obviously
a normal person
would use the BUCKET
because it's bigger.
DOCTOR: No, you're
stupid! A normal person
would pull the DRAIN
PLUG! Nurse, admit this
idiot in Ward 7... :D