Aaj ki Ladkiya

Aaj ki Ladkiya :P
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Girl:" Ye Jo Samne Ladka Betha Hai,iska Naam Kya Hai
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Waiter:" Yeh "PAPPU"Hai..
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Girl:" Yeh Mujhe 1 Ghante Se Pareshan Kar Raha Hain..
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Waiter:" Magar Wo To Apki Taraf Dekh Bhi Nahi Raha Hai..
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Girl:" Yahi To Pareshanii Hai...:p :O:@ :D
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Moral:" Duniya Shareefon Ko Jeenay Nahi Deti..:P

*BANIYA COLLECTION*

*BANIYA COLLECTION*

1. Baniya: Yeh banana kaise diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya : 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chhilka milega.
Baniya : Le 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela de de.

2. Baniya on his deathbed.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife: Yes, I'm here
My sons daughters r u all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya: To phir bahar wale kamre
ka pankha kyun chal raha hai ???

3. Baniya 14th floor se neeche gira
Girte waqt usne
apne ghar ki khidki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla ke bola:
MERI ROTI NAHIN PAKANA!

“I work for 7 Up!”

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

CID facts !

CID facts !
1. Daya has a world record of
breaking most no. Of doors
2.Cid bureau has 1 toyota qualis
since last 10yrs
3.In d ntire 20 storeyd building of
cid,only 6 ppl work
4.Der is no police..cid handles
every case
5.Accused person accepts his
crime only aftr getin a slap 4rm
daya on d face

Rajnikant Opens a CoLLege

Rajnikant Opens a CoLLege
But
Students r Confusd
Bcoz
Name of coLLege iS..
'Rajnikant MedicaL CoLLege of
Engineering for
Commrce & Arts :P

Paise wala aadmi

Paise wala aadmi: aaj mere paas
14 cars
18 dukaan
4 Bangle hain.
Tumhare paas kya hai?
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Garib aadmi: mere paas 1 beta
hai,
jiski girlfriend teri beti hai.. =P =D

1 Beautiful Larki ne Ghar ka kuch

1 Beautiful Larki ne Ghar ka kuch
Saman 1 Gali ke
Ladke se Mangwaya,
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To saaman mein 30 Rs Kam Pad
Gaye..Us Larke Ne
Apne paas se De Diye.
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Ghar aa kr Lrki Se kaha
30Rs kam They, mene Diye Hain.
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To Larki ne kaha…
*I LOVE U*
. .
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Wo Muskraya or Kaha - Zada
chaalak mat ban mere 30Rs
nikaal :D :P

Biggest joke of the century

Upvas in new Style..

Upvas in new Style..
Living 1 day without:" Mobile
Facebook Electricity
Internet
WhatsApp
TV .
.
Ye Upvas kar ke dekho
Bhagwan dharti par aake
kahege,"Bas kar Pagle ab
Rulayega kya ??":p :O :D

Over smartness in INDIA can b deadly

A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door. .

A lady opened it. Before she could speak, .
the salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet. .

Salesman: Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in nxt 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, i'll EAT all this Shit! .

Lady: Do u need Chilli Sauce with that? .

Salesman: why Madam? .

Lady: Because there's no electricity in the house. .

MORAL: Over smartness in INDIA can b deadly =))

you are really pretty !!

Classic Insult:
Boy : I love you
Girl : Shutup
Boy : I Like you
Girl : Shutup
Boy : I Miss you
Girl : Shutup
Boy : you are really pretty !!
Girl : Really ??
Boy : SHUTUP :D :P

Girl : What are you doing ?

Girl : What are you doing ?

Boy : killing mosquitoes

Girl : how many did you killed?

Boy : total 5 ( 3 female 2 male)
Girl : how did you know that?
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Boy : 3 were sitting near mirror and 2 near
beer :D :-P

1PagaL Aaina Dekh K Sochne Laga

1PagaL Aaina Dekh K Sochne Laga
Esko Kahi Dekha H
Thodi Der Sochne K Baad
"O Teri " Ye To Wohi H
.
.
Jo Mere Sath Us din BaaL Ktwa
Raha Tha

Ek Tasveer Dekhkar

Ek Ladki,
ek din Art Gallery dekhne Jati Hai
Aur
Ek Tasveer Dekhkar,
Gallery Ke Malik Se Kahti Hai:
Ladki : iss Bhayanak Tasveer Ko
Aap Modern Art Kehte Ho !?
Maalik : Meri Maa
Tu Dimag Mat Laga,
Ghar Jaa,
Ye Aaina ( mirror ) Hai.

Where's your Ferrari then?

Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs?
Man: 3 packs daily
Lady: How much is per pack for your brand?
Man: $8 a pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: Almost 18 years.
Lady: So one pack costs $8 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $ 720. In one year, it would be $8640. Correct?
Man: Correct.
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $ 8640, you collectively spent $ 155,520. Correct?
Man: Correct.
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 18 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Man: Where's your Ferrari then? :D :/

A Journalist to a Doctor

A Journalist to a Doctor
of a mental hospital &
the following
conversation ensued:
JOURNALIST: How do
you determine to admit a patient or not?
DOCTOR: Well, we first
fill a bathtub with
water till the top. We
then give a teaspoon, a
glass cup and a bucket
to the patient and ask
him/her to empty the bathtub.
JOURNALIST: Obviously
a normal person
would use the BUCKET
because it's bigger.
DOCTOR: No, you're
stupid! A normal person
would pull the DRAIN
PLUG! Nurse, admit this
idiot in Ward 7... :D